jagged knives and going in for counseling

Today I went to school to take a smartness test and get $50.

It was a pretty good deal, although depending on what they were looking for I may have flunked the smartness test.

They gave us a sheet of "dos" and "don'ts" before the test, and advised that we were under no circumstances whatsoever to hit the Windows or Alt keys. Which I did, twice. Made me wonder if I ever hit the Windows or Alt keys at home, or if I was under the spell of the power of suggestion.

The world may never know.

So, since I was at school anyway, after the smartness test I went to the academic advisement office to be academically advised.

They didn't know anything. Not anything new, anyway.

I kept telling the adviser guy to hit the magic button that has some info I couldn't obtain myself from reading the course schedule. Or at least a magic button that tells me how much longer I'd have to be there if I switched to a Spanish major. But no magic button had he (and he was quite unapologetic about it, to boot). He also told me that if you plan to graduate from CSUF you have to fill out a form a year in advance and pay a fee for them to look over your records. As if it comes as a surprise to them that someone who enrolled would actually plan to graduate. You'd think the thousands I've paid in tuition might be an indication that graduation is somewhere in my plans.

Anyway, while I was there they entered me in a raffle for a parking permit next semester and gave me a bag of candy. That was the good part.

The bad part (besides not being much advised) was that on the desk I saw a bulletin saying that they were looking for a ROBBER with a jagged KNIFE.

As it turns out, last night while Aura and I were not missing, abused, or kidnapped in any way, a girl on campus was ROBBED at KNIFEPOINT by some guy in a hoodie. How creepy is that.

So if you are at all inclined to worry about Emily, please direct your worries to Wednesday nights when I have to walk a long long way across campus to my car in the dark. Maybe even past hoodie-clad guys hiding jagged knives.

Or, if you're a robber who hides a jagged knife in his hoodie, please be aware that I don't have anything of value (except maybe the smartness I just got paid $50 for), and that if you did happen to catch me with a credit card on my person, No. 6 has thoroughly coached me in the importance of immediately canceling stolen credit cards in order to prevent identity theft. P.S. -- I already spent the $50.

(Something tells me that it may be time to put something in my system besides coffee and advisement office candy.)