Thursday, February 07, 2008

new horizons

CALIFORNIA -- After what her spokesperson has called "a brief bout with socialism" last week, sources close to mle Q. Blogger confirm that she has voluntarily entered conservative rehab at AM 870. This move came as a surprise to some friends of the delinquent lawyer and university student, who said that "mle always seemed antagonistic to radio talk-show hosts, never seemed to trust them." Other sources confirmed that, as recently as last Sunday, Blogger publicly scoffed at the idea that rehab staffer Dennis Prager was "a sweet man." "I'm not sure what to make of this," said one source who asked to remain unnamed, "Has she come back to the fold? I'm afraid it's really too soon to tell."
All that to say that today I was in my car listening to the radio while lunching, and heard the infamous personalized love songs commercial.

This is silly!!!

If you feel inclined to bestow such a thoughtful gift on your sweetheart, here, let me help you out. This is all yours (I guarantee you, it's much more romantic if you sing it yourself; try the tune for "Go Tell Aunt Rhodie").

I Love You NAME OF YOUR TRUE LOVE

You are my true love.
You are my sweetheart.
Your eyes are COLOR*-er
Than DESCRIPTION.

I have to tell you
My love will never change
Here in STATE OF RESIDENCE
There's not a luckier guy.

*Our qualified staff of mercenary bards will be happy to draft special lines for sweethearts of unusual eye colors, but here are our most-requested options:

Your eyes are browner
Than the best Godiva truffle.

Your eyes are bluer
Than the sea in Cozumel.

Your eyes are greener
Than fresh-cut Irish grass.

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