Tuesday, October 27, 2009

marketing advice (from a 6-year-old)

Natalie just came into my room for help with a math problem. While I puzzled out Saxon Math 3, she was looking through the paper sediment on my desk and picked out the business card for Emma Parker Diamonds.

She said, "I think this poem is funny," and read me the following from the business card:
He came to her on bended knee
With velvet box in hand,
To ask her "Will you marry me
And wear my wedding band?"
"It sounds like he's coming up to her dragging his knee," she said, demonstrating.

It was pretty funny. And probably not politically correct. At all.

And, although I never have been able to read that poem with a straight face, now I just laugh the whole time.

We tried to fix it, but it proved awfully difficult. For instance,
He came to her and bent his knee
With velvet box in hand
sounds like his knee has a box in its hand.

He came to her romantically
With velvet box in hand
But that's just sappy.

He came to her expectantly
but that makes him sound like a hungry puppy.

Maybe he's already assured of his success and
He came to her triumphantly
mmmmmmmmm . . . not quite.

(See how easy it is to distract me from math homework? She's talented, this one.)


Jack said...

This is why we need to go back to a system of cases for English nouns.

Or, perhaps, a reason we need to go back to systems or semi-arranged marriage... well, away from the whole diamond-ring-as-symbol-of-concept-nobody-really-believes-anymore, anyway.

Or maybe just an reason to be thankful for homeschooling.

Emily said...

What's the diamond ring a symbol of?

Jack said...

the diamond stands for the exotic riches of the far east, a token of the wealth brought from imperial enterprise. Thus, their use in ceremonies of betrothal has become prefunctorily commercial; those who sincerely believe in the vows of marriage have much better ways of showing it than participation in the brutality of diamond trade.
(Those who sincerely think they "look pretty" have long since found "prettier" stones or switched to a manufactured substitute that doesn't carry the financial/ethical burden.)
[Nothing personal, IANAL, YMMV, brought to you by the letter J and the number 7.]